"D"""I like the light that comes off metal shutters at siesta time in the summer, having a break from driving in the shops at motorway services, the odour of petrol at petrol stations and rolling down little slopes."
--Audrey Tatou
like the light that comes off metal shutters at siesta time in the summer, having a break from driving in the shops at motorway services, the odour of petrol at petrol stations, rolling down little slopes." -Audrey Tatou
on't you stay at home of evenings? Don't you love a cushioned seat in a corner, by the fireside, with your slippers on your feet?"
-Oliver Wendall Holmes Sr.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Saffron Robe Unpacking

Moving is so much hard work y'all! Whew.

I am a tired lady. The boxes are taking over my life. I hide in the book I got from the library sometimes, in my phone sometimes, and out in the car on a drive sometimes....because seriously....

Where did all this stuff come from? There is no end to it. I want to cull everything down to four wooden bowls and a saffron robe. We'll share the robe. No need for excess.

These are all my husband's socks....that spot on the right in the drawer is where is socks are meant to go. 
Argh...on the upside, tonight the nine year old made dinner because I was stressed and drowning in boxes in the hallway and his chicken wings and jicama was delicious and hilarious and so helpful. I also managed to make the boys bedroom completely livable today, including a trip to Home Depot for plywood (45 minute wait to get the pieces cut to size! Patience lesson + assertiveness lesson!) I also signed up the older two for piano lessons, scheduled a piano tuner and didn't do any laundry at all. I did however successfully get paint matched for our kitchen cupboards so that I can spot treat as needed in the future and cover the spots where I took the hinges and doors off of one section. (open shelving! Yay!)
See!?! Took the upper doors off! So pretty!
I know that I will manage to spend time with kids in a fun way again soon. I know that I will feel like it is a home again and not a junk heap soon. I know that the chi will return to normal flow soon. I know I will work out in the garden again soon. I know that I will actually walk through the garage again soon. I know that I will someday feel like I can breathe at night and lay down my head with genuine relief soon. Its soooo hard to go to sleep when the house is finally quiet and just "relax" and get some rest when I see every box behind my eyelids! Argh!

In other news, Ru is cooking well and reading well. We have somehow slippingly drifted over into the land of chapter book reading and obsession with returning to the library asap and never getting enough story. So lovely to see it really happen. So much leap of faith breath-holding in parenting and homeschooling. You want to believe that you're kids are of course amazing and brainy and footsy and success material but you also feel so utterly responsible for the whole outcome and all the ingredients and the process and and and..... Its hard to do all you can and let go optimistically. Its so easy for me to trust that "all I can" is a reasonable contribution and that I am not forgetting something or screwing up in some obvious way. I worry about their flaws and weak spots and annoying little ways....although I hope I don't show them too much of that. I do try to make sure that they know I am in their corner always and that they can make it. I'm just their mom and I do worry! These little successes taste like extra rope, a little margin, some safety net of possible "fine-ness" in the ways of the world. Tangibility feels meaty and full of heft.

We had rain this week! I am believing that the drought is going to be over. That this is part of the cycle of nature, just like the wildfires and throw us humans all into panic. I am believing that the hibiscus we planted will live and that the little sprouts that are coming up the front flower bed and something cool and that the 40th year of my husband's life (tomorrow everyone!!!!) will hold wonderful things for him.

I love you babe. I'm going to try sleeping, even though you're snoring.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Poetry Friday: A Moving Tribute

Happy Poetry Friday! I have a poem this week, digesting a bit more about my move to The West Coast from The East Coast.

Its been about 2,000 years since I had a good poetic wander. Feels so good to get back to my principles and be stepping back into a rhythmn of creation and personal, reflective thought. Love writing poetry.

Poetry Friday is a product of KidLitosphere and is a chance to share and mingle together suggestions, original work and sometimes even whole books that feed that poetry section of our brains, help us to think in lyrical form and assist in giving us imagery that is crisp and reflective of experience.
I try to write an original poem once a week to participate, pushing myself to try new ideas and to capture in verse the impressions that slam or waltz through my mind. See the tab above for a collection of all the poems I've spun out thus far here.

Poetry Friday is one of my favorite things to consume on a lazy Saturday or Sunday morning. A mug of tea and the host list of links is great early morning brain food to help your inner self uncurl and blink awake. So, incredibly cozy. Try it out.

Our host blog this week is Poetry For Children. Click through and enjoy all the offerings!

New To California

I am camping in a house with a blow-up mattress, four boys and a sea of pale gray carpet.

I wonder what dark January looks like with prickly pear ripening on the side of the freeway and mariachi on the radio.

I hear basketball echoes in the back courtyard, the neighbor kids shouting in Spanish and the gentle hum of the refrigerator in our tiled kitchen.

I see the golden sunlight slanting through the office blinds and the sly Dirt Devil doing the tango along the living room wall.

I want new girlfriends,
luscious, ridiculous ladies
laughing in a circle around me,
arms skyward
bellies full.

I am camping in a house with a blow-up mattress, four boys and a sea of pale gray carpet.

I pretend that I will become a willowy, silver-haired chef in a teeny seafood cafe with open geranium windows.

I feel elastic,
full of the buzz of the shift and the high of spontaneous, aromatic creation.

I touch the soft
inner bellies of scallops and the stringy stems of thyme
beaded with tiny, rough leaflets.

I worry about drug culture, pot heads and psychedelic mushrooms eroding personal drive.

I ask the world, if I wasn't scared what would I do Out West, in this new life.

I am camping in a house with a blow-up mattress, four boys and a sea of pale gray carpet.

I understand that the bright, blue of the sky, over the gold hills is an illusion of light scattering selectively.

I believe that avocados are verdant medicine and fall from their trees on cords like gifts being lowered to us.

I dream of playing that fiddle that is in a box, on a truck, on the highway and
making it sing past the beginner tunes I learned in high school, 
revving on into huapango, zydeco and bluegrass.

I trust that all things are a lesson, that nothing is without use and that God is filled with compassion.

I hope for rain this winter
green hills and a season of growth.
I am camping in a house with a blow-up mattress, four boys and a sea of pale gray carpet.


Pumpkin Pie On The Beach

 It was a beautiful day. Whatever ails you, there is little in life that a trip to the redwoods and the beach can't cure. The scenery and sights of nature here are kind of epic. Its super astonishing to keep realizing again that the things we can just zip over and see if we have an hour for driving are pretty national-park-level-of-fabulous. I am a little over-awed and feel ultra-bouyant once we are in the car and driving home from another place that's unbelievable with scenery to make you have an asthmatic episode and animals and plants from an episode of National Geographic. I'm not sure how long it will take to feel like this is my home state just because the level of daily shock and intimidatingly impressed joy is so high. Its hard to be jaded or feel normal or yawn at all. I live in California!
 Today we went to a new beach, Muir Beach, after the redwoods....which we naturally adore. Its all filtered golden light and mossy quiet....well mostly, you know....except for my boys sometimes shrieking and screaming and beating each other with fallen sticks. It does quiet them though, that incredible cathedral grove. I am looking forward to playing hostess to friends and family who come out to visit and have never been to a redwood grove.
It was a day of lots of fresh air, all warm and bright. Pom took a nap in the sand and we chased crabs as big as our hands put together in and out of the waves, climbed up rocks and redwoods and split rail fences. I got my 10,000 steps in without even thinking about it and utterly shorted myself on protein and water.

We are going to love day tripping out into the whirling mass of beauty here, and I have a feeling we will meet friends out at incredible places and hike our heads off. Its a little tricky to figure out how to work A into our adventures because so many of these spots are overrun on weekends. We have to get smarter about packing breakfast picnics and laying clothes out the night before for Saturday morning outings and beat the rush! Of course, this requires more advance planning....like knowing what we plan to do for the weekend....before the weekend. This would imply actual planning and communication about intended targets and chores and free-space for weekend time on Thursday night or something. Hmmm....

 Well, we can always just go listen to more James Taylor and just go with the ridiculously overcrowded flow. Organization is not our strong suite as a couple. May it ever be a target and may we someday communicate and strategize like a siamese twin generals! Someday....

I also bought a pumpkin pie...because it is officially the second day of autumn and I was in a funk and did not feel like baking....also it was 90 degrees today because we are still having a bizarre heat wave. We ate the pie with our hands, on the beach, because I forgot the plastic knife in the van and did not want to hike back to get it. Pumpkin pie is surprisingly festive and manageable beach food! Pom suggested apple pie and I told him that before that happens we have to go to an apple orchard and pick some. Next on my list: field trips to a raw milk dairy farm and apple picking. I am wistfully imagining myself canning applesauce with the boys next week....you know, since my canning jars will be buried on that semi-truck that is arriving on Sunday. That makes sense, right? At least as much sense as eating pumpkin pie with your bare hands on the beach.